I am so glad to be back!! I just got back from a week long, relaxing, vacation. *sighs* It was very awesome! I met alot of nice new peoples and I got to clear my depressing thoughts from home... I am so sorry I haven't got any new deviations... I've been so caught up in life I haven't actually been able to sit down and write. I think I'm going to start trying to dedicate myself for atleast an hour a day on my writings. Hopefully that will help.
Well, I have some disturbing news... Hanzi and I are surprisingly back together. But, this time it is totally different. This probably doesn't sound to promising to you guys, but that's only because you haven't met him, he said that he promised that he would never go over and work at Lauren's house anymore. And this weekend he told me he was going to buy me a promise ring. *sighs* I know you may think I'm crazy to be giving him a third chance but... I really can't see me with anybody else but him. It's something my heart has held on to ever since I met him. -__- I just can't let him go.
Yesterday, was my brother's 13th birthday. Aargh! I feel so OLD!!Even though I am only 18 months older than him... it seems like yesterday I was just holding him. Today, he's a teenager. A zit faced teenager with a squeaky changing voice. Lol... his personality is more stubborn and his head is getting harder. Lmao!
Sometime at the beginning of the month, just before my vacation, my dog was diagnosed with heart worms. He was lying on the couch moaning and crying because they were hurting him so bad. My dad took him to the vet, while of course I was crying, and brought him back with lots of medications and drugs. Alot of you are probably thinking that crying over a dog is stupid. But, he is my best friend. I've known him ever since he was a small puppy... if I lose him I will lose one of my best friends. *sighs*
Well, I think I've updated enough for now. I will try to get back to you later.

Love always,
Thorn

I don't know if I'm quite over him... *sighs*
Ergh! I just don't know. I think I may still like him... and I think I may just want to go and give him a big hug and tell him sorry... but I also want to get my pocket knife and carve his heart out. Ergh! My mind's telling me one thing and my heart is telling me another. I don't know which one to listen to. *sighs* Please... help?
I really need some help...

A confused conscience,

Thorn

I'm sitting here thinking about the stuff he(Hanzi) put me through...
the thoughts he gave me...
the feelings that he put upon me...
the love that we had...

I thought all of them were good. Heh... I actually thought they were true and.... and... normal. But they were all fake! FAKE FAKE FAKE!

Now... he's about to hurt someone else... only to get revenge. I don't know how to stop it. Even though Lauren deserves being hurt.... she doesn't need to be hurt. I can't let him do this to her. I know how it feels and ... I know how this girl is and she's very sensitive. *sighs* I'm not that sensitive but I cried my freakin' guts out. Just think of what she may do. Oh, gosh. I got to stop this. I don't know how!! Help?? Can any of you smart people help me??? I really need it!! PLEASE!! Aargh!

A swirl in the water with no ripple in sight,

Thorn

All of this time... Hanzi was cheating on me!! He was!! Ergh! And to think I knew all along!!! I just couldn't take it in... I'm so... so... AARGH! I cried until I puked and passed out last night. I woke up at 7:30 this morning. That's too early for me. I woke up and went for a run... it didn't help that well... it just made me more tired. We are supposed to be going to a parade today... I don't want to go... he is most likely going to be there... *sighs* I need to scream!!! AARGH!

I am sorry I haven't been able to update meh journal in awhile... I have been sord of grounded. Lmao! I stole meh mum and dad's cell phone and got busted with it. *shrugs* wasn't that terrible. Heh.

I am having second thoughts on being with Hanzi.
He has been acting weirder than usual lately...
I think he still likes Lauren. He acts as if he does even though he tells me he don't. I think our second break up may be coming soon and I will be the one calling quits this time. *sighs and hangs head in shame* I don't think I can take it anymore.
I went to VBS all of last week with Em&em. We had a blast! w00t! I met awhole lot of new people. Mostly guys.. heh. This guy named Zack said he liked me... which made me think... what if there's a chance I like him back? *sighs* -_-' I am so confuzled.
Geez! I need counseling. Lmao!
Wells, I'm going to go for now... I need to find a pig with cat ears. Byies!


Love with Luff,

>--Thorn-->